Safety and fear
October 10th, 2004 by gina.revillI went for a walk in the forest yesterday about 5pm. As I was walking to my car about 45 mintues later, a noticed a young man behind me just as I was about to walk through an underpass. I had a strange feeling…I stopped and waited for him to pass in full view of traffic, but as I came up to the second underpass he was there still…
To cut a long story short, I was very lucky a cyclist came thought at that moment and I was able to walk through quickly and get into an open field, where I found some joggers. Not before he had gotten close enough to expose himself to me and suggest some things…
I was amazed at how scared I was. In retrospect, there were some things I could have done better-was it too late to be walking alone? Probably in October, yes.
I could have laughed and taken away his power.
I could have shouted at him.
It was a lesson for me. I suppose safety is always an illusion, and we all find a level of what we can and can’t live with.
Comments
Not a nice thing to happen and scary too. You had every right to walk in the forest alone and should be able to do so without fear. Please don’t let this get in the way. I’ve always liked to walk at night. I walk by the shore and along the canal side at night. Nothing bad ever happened to me.
Please don’t give him anymore power than he had that night and let him change your behaviour.
All the best
Linda
Linda H
October 10th, 2004
Of course you have every right to walk in a forest alone at night. Or the park, street, town, etc. But our rights don’t keep us safe or alive. Peoples rights have not stopped them getting raped, killed, or fubar. So, my suggestion is that you do change your habbits and think safety. Not much point thinking about it under some underpass with some freak having his way with you. Oh, am I upsetting someone. Boo Hoo. This is the world we live in. And survivers are the ones that adapt to the changing circumstances, to their surroundings. Don’t be afraid of going out Gina, just be smarter than potential attackers and perverts. Yes walk with someone else at night, take some self defence lessons, let people know where and how long you are going. We live in a beautiful, wonderful world. It is full of amazing things and people. But it is also full of dangers. We could get killed by a spider, snake, car, pervert. Lets be smart and enjoy ourselves. I don’t even walk by myself at night. And have you seen my biceps? Check them out on ‘Mygirls’.
David Revill
October 10th, 2004
An unfair and cruel event can change a life forever…. Or end it.
Rape happens, murder happens, no one asks for it, or deserves it.
Yes you should be able to enjoy the outdoors anytime with out being threatened, and I’m glad nothings ever happened to Linda, but for the very few that something does happen to (like my sister) its not a hard thing to find a safer time or place… or some one to share it with.
Stuff him and his power ? who cares? Look after yourself, Live long and prosper.
peter
October 10th, 2004
Good morning David,
Sunny day in the BOP?
peter
October 10th, 2004
David is absolutely right, Gina. Whatever we might expect our rights to be, in reality, they are not that at all. You were actually lucky (although it probably doesn’t feel that way). My sister was physically attacked 30 years ago. The attackers spent a few years in jail - she still bears the mental scars today. Sad that it is, the world we live in can be a dangerous place. Please do take care of yourself.
Mo
October 10th, 2004
Hi Gina
Yes, please, please think safer. Do you remember when you, the boys and I used to go swimming in the river in Blenheim-for years. We had such fun! Then one day you and I went down on our own to sunbathe and a man came and stripped in front of us and spreadeagled on his back. Yuk. We never went back. Safety first especially when my beautiful daughter was involved. We found another place. You are looking so happy and well! Love always, mum x x x x
Mumsy
October 11th, 2004
Hi Peter. Yes very sunny. Loving it in this part of the country. Hope all is well with you.
David Revill
October 11th, 2004
Thanks guys for your thoughts-I agree with you all-I think we need to talk about safety issues more otherwise the people who commit those awful crimes keep us quiet in shame and embarrassment, when it is them who ought to be ashamed.
It was still light when I was walking by the way, I would never walk in the dark in the forest alone, and I agree with Linda in part that I can’t stop living, but I’ll not go walking late afternoon again-I’ll make it early afternoon instead. And I always carry a phone anyway, and I think it’s part of what saved me because I phoned my flatmate straight away and she knew exactly where I was. I didn’t look to see if he saw that but I’m sure he did.
Gina
October 11th, 2004
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